I have been a Britney fan ever since I can remember. Like many of you reading this, I have been in awe of her talent since the first time I heard the iconic opening chords of “…Baby One More time.” Growing up, however, I was only really aware of the same chart-topping singles and tabloid headlines as everybody else. It wasn’t until the release of 2021’s Framing Britney Spears, when the public became aware of her conservatorship, that I dove deeper into Britney’s story.

People always talk about 2007, when she shaved her head during an emotional crisis. As a child, I never knew the context or had the full story. The truth of what led to this infamous moment in 2000s culture goes beyond 2007, and is much more disturbing than anyone knew at the time.

In her new memoir, The Woman in Me, Britney finally gets the chance to set the record straight and exercise control over her narrative and her life. We see how Britney went from a little girl in Louisiana, pushed by her domineering parents into doing pageants, to becoming one of the biggest stars on earth, all while fighting to break free from the influence of people around her (almost always men) who did not have her best interests at heart. Over and over we see Britney struggling for control–over her image, her finances, her sexuality. Sadly, Britney’s is not the first story of a pop star being unfairly controlled by the men in her life. Why are pop stars destined to be under the relentless control of men?

My fascination with Britney is that she is one of the last pop stars that you can tell was actually born for this. Britney has that star quality that cannot be taught. Today’s pop stars are coming up in time where it’s trendy to look like you aren’t trying. Effortlessness is the new cool. When Britney was at her peak, if you weren’t showing the world your blood, sweat, and tears you wouldn’t be taken seriously. Like Mariah Carey, Janet Jackson, and Beyoncé, Britney was primed to be a star from a very young age. Like most people, when the news started coming out about her conservatorship, I watched the documentaries and became distressed. How could anyone do this to a person, let alone America’s sweetheart?

But to understand how Britney ended up in her conservatorship you have to understand her family. Britney’s grandfather, June, sent his first wife, Jean (who Britney was named after), to a mental hospital when she fell into a depression after her son died very young. This same grandfather remarried and would later send ANOTHER one of his wives to an institution. Both women were put on Lithium in order to sedate them–the same drug that Britney’s father would later have her doctors prescribe during the conservatorship. Her family used the trauma of Britney’s grandmothers as a blueprint for how to control Britney.

Britney’s father, Jamie, learned all of his controlling behavior from his own father. Jamie’s father, June, made Jamie into a local sports star against his will–something Jamie would later do to Britney’s brother Brian. Jamie took after his father in many ways, and began heavily drinking soon after his marriage to Lynn. Jamie was absent for much of Britney’s childhood, often coming home in the middle of the night just to pick a fight with her mother. Britney used singing as her escape and as a way to express herself in a house where she felt that her voice wasn’t heard. She sang anywhere she could, at all times of the day.

A friend of her mother’s soon suggested that Britney audition for the Mickey Mouse club. Britney actually didn’t get in on her first audition: though the casting directors liked her, she was only eight at the time, and performers had to be ten. The early sections of The Woman in Me are full of intimate memories from The Mickey Mouse Club. Justin Timberlake, we learn, was her first kiss, in a game of

truth of dare while a Janet Jackson song played. In these early years Britney was guided by her mother, who didn’t care if she drank or smoked. The two of them, in fact, would often drink together, and Britney still smokes the same brand of cigarettes that her mother did back then. There were many times when the adults around her should have been there to look out for her, but she was left alone.

Britney often describes the men that were interested in her in a mystical way–the way that a teenager would romanticize the men in her life as some sort of fairytale. When she was thirteen she used to hang out with a group of friends, and one of them had a guy friend Britney thought was cute, but who was way older. There’s a surreal scene at a sleepover where this older boy, who has never said a word to her, sneaks into the house while everyone is sleeping, makes out with her, and then leaves. The two of them never speak.

Eventually, Britney fell even more in love with singing and decided that she wanted to pursue it full time. She recorded a Toni Braxton (another woman fucked over by the industry) throw-away for her first demo. Eventually she booked a record deal, and got the chance to meet Max Martin. Max wanted to meet her in person, so the two of them had dinner together alone. At this first meeting, we learn, their table literally caught on fire. The universe could not handle the magic that they were about to make together. Britney expressed to Max that she wanted her voice to sound more R&B. The night before she recorded “…Baby One More Time,” she purposefully stayed up late so her voice would sound raspy when she woke up. I always felt like “…Baby One More Time” had some soul in it–this confirmed my suspicion.

Britney Spears has always been inspired by Black women, even as a little girl. She describes the time she was first “truly touched and got shivers down her spine” when hearing her mother’s housekeeper singing gospel in the laundry room. This housekeeper incident stood out to me because the first time that Britney felt musical inspiration, it was from a Black woman.

Another Black woman she gained inspiration from was Mariah Carey. Throughout her career Britney has mentioned that Mariah and Janet Jackson were big inspirations for her music. Britney said that she would make videos to Mariah Carey songs when she was younger. This struck me because while Britney was enjoying her childhood freedom, Mariah was locked inside of a house under intense security of a man who had no business controlling her. Sound familiar? I find it interesting that Britney idolized women that went through similar hardships to what she would inevitably go through. Britney, Mariah, and Janet all had their peaks at different decades, but all have been controlled by men for long periods of time in their careers.

(As a Lamb I have to mention that Britney recalls a moment backstage at an award show where she meets Mariah backstage–Mariah, by the way, had a ring light 20 years ago. The two of them take a photo, but Mariah cuts the photographer off and insists they take it on her good side. Britney also mentions that she won a bunch of awards that night, but only remembers the perfect photo that she got with Mariah Carey. Mariah is an Artist’s Artist!)

Like the women she idolized, Britney wasn’t always submissive to the men around her. Britney has never been one to be shy about her vision and her ideas. When she was presented with the original idea for “…Baby One More Time” it was an immediate chop. They wanted her to be an astronaut in space or something. She axed that concept and came up with the iconic schoolgirl video which is remembered to this day. She even had her guardian, Felicia, play the teacher. For that first album, she got the chance to be on the cover of Rolling Stone, photographed by David La Chapelle. People were up in arms because she’s showing her stomach and wearing a sexy outfit. But Britney never signed up to be a role model. She just wanted to sing and be free.